Since my new apartment allows dogs, I’ll be taking my sister’s beloved retriever/lab mix so my mom doesn’t slaughter him he won’t be so lonely when she goes off to college. I would normally be excited for this, since I also love this dog to pieces, except for the teensy little fact that I already own two shelter cats and Dog is very excitable, very large, and very relentless in showing his affection to animals that don’t want it. 

This could be a problem. 

I’m going to try to introduce them very slowly so that my cats aren’t emotionally traumatized by the gigantic yellow-furred ball of energy and saliva suddenly thrown into their lives, and I also don’t want Dog to die of a heart attack when he sees two young cats in such close vicinity to himself. I am a bit skeptical that this is going to work, but it’s been done before so all I have to do is follow the directions and pray non-stop for the intercession of St. Francis of Assisi. 

God in Heaven, I hope this works. 

Not for the sake of the cats, though. The cats will be fine. I’m more worried about Dog, because this:

…cannot survive this:

…for very long. 

This will be an interesting semester.